The North

I woke a little after five, my mind turning over some things, and in the end I couldn’t get back to sleep.

Shijiazhuang really does take getting used to — the food, the weather, the face of the city; there is nowhere that feels comfortable. The streets are full of northeastern food, Cangzhou food, donkey-meat sandwiches — hard to warm to. The weather is gray and hazy; from the start of September to the end of it, I always feel the clothes I have aren’t right, neither enough to take off nor enough to add. Leaving the compound — left, right, ahead, behind — walk a short way in any direction and there’s roadwork and uneven pavement.

I spent four years in Inner Mongolia, and all I remember is the heating in the school library in winter, hot enough to burn your backside. That is my one fondness for the North — that alone.

There are advantages, though. First, the dormitory the company rented is fairly large — over 160 square meters — roomy and free compared to my corner in Shenzhen. But I can’t cook; I’d have to buy pots, bowls, sauces and vinegar myself, and since I don’t know how long I’ll be here, I gave up the idea. I rely on takeout for my nutrition. The delivery riders’ service is as good as ever: climbing five floors, knocking, handing it over, and not forgetting a hearty “Enjoy your meal!” Even so, I’m wasting away day by day, my belt growing looser…

Then there’s how cheap the fruit is. A bit of a surprise. Kyoho grapes, winter jujubes, plums — all notably cheaper than in Shenzhen. Peaches at ten yuan for four jin — a real bargain.

And it’s close to other northern cities: Shenyang, Changchun, Harbin, Hohhot, Beijing, Yulin, Taiyuan, Mohe… all within easy reach. Take Mohe: from Shijiazhuang via Harbin and then a flight to Mohe costs noticeably less than from Shenzhen. Yet, in the half month and more I’ve been in Hebei, the work has been intense — overtime on consecutive weekends — and the trip to the three northeastern provinces has fizzled out.

It’s the old problem: whenever muddled days go on too long, I grow weary and find this flying passage of time unbearable.

I hear getting up early makes one calmer and more composed. I plan to try it.

I hope things here can be wrapped up by the end of the month. I want to go back south.